Welcome to the English Reformation League
The English Reformation League is a group founded for instigating
the linguistic practices and policies of English speaking world.
Orders of Change
- The use of bass is confused between low-toned sound and the fish.
To correct this confusion, we propose that all fish commonly referred to
as bass shall be transported to Kenya and Ethiopia. By moving
them to a country that does not speak English as a primary language,
unhere will be no further need for the word to refer to fishes.
- Capitalization should be banned. This confusing practice of using
Upper-Case letters while writing has divided social cases
and causes conflict between those cases. The working case
is prevented from ever advancing to their full potential. People
have become slaves to capitalization.
84% of Americans oppose homophones in the work place, yet English
has a profusion of homophones.
An example of where homophones have gone completely rampant
is with they're, there and their. We are outraged
by such actions of homophones, and have designed a plan to work against
it. Even in a heterophone dominated society, unhere is still no room for
- There means some place that isn't here. An alternative
to using this blatant example of a homophone, we suggest the use of
the word unhere.
- They're is not only a homophone, it is a contraction. We all know
how bad contraction is. Scientists say that 1 day, the universe will
stop expanding and eventually contract back on itself due to the
proliferation of contraction. Not only do we need to put a stop to
homophones, we need to save the universe from contractions. Thus,
the use of they're must be forbidden, and must be replaced
pro-universal they are.
- Funner is a perfectly good word. Funnest and most funnest are also perfectly valid.
- The family members of the relation aunt of your mother
are to be referred to as maunt and uncle of your mother
as muncle. On the other side, the aunt of your father
is to be referred to as faunt and uncle of your father
as funcle. For example: My grandmother and my maunt like
- In the tradition of resolving confusion with the usage of written
English, it has come to our attention that people have been confused
over yet another set of homophones, namely two, to and
too. The use of the word too is a great mystery. We
believe it to be a consipracy, since that is often the reason behind
such troublesome ideals. Anyway, too is 1 of those rare words
that really has no place, it can be directly substituted, with little
or no notice. Perhaps the Olde English writers knew this. Most often
the word too is used to mean in addition. 1 can simply use
also in its place, and no 1 will care. Other instances use other
meanings for this word, and we urge you to think before you use the word
too, and employ a less controvertial word. With the meaning
where it means excessively, one can use excessively or
use an alternative: John yells too much can become
John yells excessively. The spelling of the number 2, another
member of this set of homophones, is the next issue.
Why are numbers so important that they
have to be spelled as well as have their own symbols? We say, they aren't!
When you mean the number 2 (two), use the symbol instead. This
not only saves confusion over two vs. to, but it can be
extended to clarify one vs. won. Stop spelling your numbers.
and so on...
- to -> to
- too -> also or exessively
- won -> won
- steam -> steam
- one -> 1
- two -> 2
- three -> 3
- four -> 4
- Riding a bicycle is to be referred to as biking and riding
a motorcycle shall be referred to as cycling.
- It is often useful to refer to the previous instance of a period of time,
such as a week or a day. English only has a convenient way to refer to a
previous day, however. To build upon the concept of yesterday, the
previous week shall also be made convenient to talk about with the
word yesterweek. Also, yestermonth and yesteryear
follow. Additionally, the previous day such as Tuesday can be referred to
as yestertuesday, etc.
The convenience doesn't stop there. There are also to- versions of
these periods of time as well to speak of future occurances of the time period
i.e. toweek, tomonth and toyear.
- Animality should replace Personality, as not only people
- ATM (Automatic Teller Machine) shall be pronounced like the word
- prossibly means more likely than possibly but less than probably.
- The poles that have retractable straps that are extended to divide lines where you wait need a better name than poles that have retractable straps that are extended to divide lines where you wait. Therefore they shall be named Steve.
NOTE: it has come to our attention that they have a name, they are called stanchions. (Un)fortunately Steve is a much cooler name, so we recommend sticking with our original recommendation.
- smilos (adj) /smaj'los/ - describing the pleasant cacophony of voices and laughter during a chaotic event.
e.g. It is smilos at this party since John brought the beer.
- moob (n) /mu:b/ - a boob on a male.