Welcome to the English Reformation League

The English Reformation League is a group founded for instigating change in the linguistic practices and policies of English speaking world.

Orders of Change

• The use of bass is confused between low-toned sound and the fish. To correct this confusion, we propose that all fish commonly referred to as bass shall be transported to Kenya and Ethiopia. By moving them to a country that does not speak English as a primary language, unhere will be no further need for the word to refer to fishes.
• Capitalization should be banned. This confusing practice of using Upper-Case letters while writing has divided social cases and causes conflict between those cases. The working case is prevented from ever advancing to their full potential. People have become slaves to capitalization.
• 84% of Americans oppose homophones in the work place, yet English has a profusion of homophones. An example of where homophones have gone completely rampant is with they're, there and their. We are outraged by such actions of homophones, and have designed a plan to work against it. Even in a heterophone dominated society, unhere is still no room for homophones!
  • There means some place that isn't here. An alternative to using this blatant example of a homophone, we suggest the use of the word unhere.
  • They're is not only a homophone, it is a contraction. We all know how bad contraction is. Scientists say that 1 day, the universe will stop expanding and eventually contract back on itself due to the proliferation of contraction. Not only do we need to put a stop to homophones, we need to save the universe from contractions. Thus, the use of they're must be forbidden, and must be replaced with the pro-universal they are.
• Funner is a perfectly good word. Funnest and most funnest are also perfectly valid.
• The family members of the relation aunt of your mother are to be referred to as maunt and uncle of your mother as muncle. On the other side, the aunt of your father is to be referred to as faunt and uncle of your father as funcle. For example: My grandmother and my maunt like mangoes.
• In the tradition of resolving confusion with the usage of written English, it has come to our attention that people have been confused over yet another set of homophones, namely two, to and too. The use of the word too is a great mystery. We believe it to be a consipracy, since that is often the reason behind such troublesome ideals. Anyway, too is 1 of those rare words that really has no place, it can be directly substituted, with little or no notice. Perhaps the Olde English writers knew this. Most often the word too is used to mean in addition. 1 can simply use also in its place, and no 1 will care. Other instances use other meanings for this word, and we urge you to think before you use the word too, and employ a less controvertial word. With the meaning where it means excessively, one can use excessively or use an alternative: John yells too much can become John yells excessively. The spelling of the number 2, another member of this set of homophones, is the next issue. Why are numbers so important that they have to be spelled as well as have their own symbols? We say, they aren't! When you mean the number 2 (two), use the symbol instead. This not only saves confusion over two vs. to, but it can be extended to clarify one vs. won. Stop spelling your numbers. To summarize:
  1. to -> to
  2. too -> also or exessively
  3. won -> won
  4. steam -> steam
  5. one -> 1
  6. two -> 2
  7. three -> 3
  8. four -> 4
  and so on...
• Riding a bicycle is to be referred to as biking and riding a motorcycle shall be referred to as cycling.
• It is often useful to refer to the previous instance of a period of time, such as a week or a day. English only has a convenient way to refer to a previous day, however. To build upon the concept of yesterday, the previous week shall also be made convenient to talk about with the word yesterweek. Also, yestermonth and yesteryear follow. Additionally, the previous day such as Tuesday can be referred to as yestertuesday, etc.

  The convenience doesn't stop there. There are also to- versions of these periods of time as well to speak of future occurances of the time period i.e. toweek, tomonth and toyear.

• Animality should replace Personality, as not only people have them.
• ATM (Automatic Teller Machine) shall be pronounced like the word atom.
• prossibly means more likely than possibly but less than probably.
• The poles that have retractable straps that are extended to divide lines where you wait need a better name than poles that have retractable straps that are extended to divide lines where you wait. Therefore they shall be named Steve.

  NOTE: it has come to our attention that they have a name, they are called stanchions. (Un)fortunately Steve is a much cooler name, so we recommend sticking with our original recommendation.

• smilos (adj) /smaj'los/ - describing the pleasant cacophony of voices and laughter during a chaotic event.

  e.g. It is smilos at this party since John brought the beer.

• moob (n) /mu:b/ - a boob on a male.